雅思考試備考7.5分雅思作文剖析

雅思考試備考：7.5分雅思作文剖析，很多同學對于這個問題有疑問和不解，那么下面就跟著中國教育在線的小編詳細了解一下吧。

Band 7.5

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type ofcrime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, andthe motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account whendeciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your ownopinion.

Fixing punishments for each type of crime has been a debatable issue. Thereare many arguments supporting both views, those for and those against fixedpunishments.

On the one hand, fixed punishments will have a deterring effect on society.Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if theyare convicted with a given crime, will reconsider committing this act in thefirst place. This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security,through minimizing the number of crime committed. If people knew they would beable to convince the court or the jury of a reason for having committed thecrime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. Thiswould result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a high levelof injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts.

On the other hand, taking the circumstances of a crime and its motivationinto consideration is a prerequisite for establishing and ensuring justice andequity. A person killing in self-defense cannot be compared to a serial killer,moving from one victim to the next.

In my opinion and intermediary position between both solutions is theperfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity. There have to be fixedpunishments for all crimes. however, criminal laws have to provide for a minimumand a maximum for the punishment and the laws also have to foresee certain casesof exemptions. An example for setting minimum and maximum penalties isCompletion Law where a person being held liable of a crime under this law willbe convicted to pay a fine, according to the harm caused by the violation andthe profit gained by the violator through committing the crime.As for theexemptions, in some countries the law exempts thiefs stealing food during aperiod of famine taking into consideration the distress and hunger. Also aperson killing in self-defense will be exempted from punishment.

這篇7.5分的雅思寫作例文可以說各方面都做的還不錯，但是在paraphrase這一點仍有失誤，作者應(yīng)該把penalty早早提到文章的前面替換掉一些頻繁出現(xiàn)的punishment,同時應(yīng)該多收集點其它的詞，如：castigation, penalization, discipline等。但是他關(guān)于收集犯罪類的詞匯上顯然homework做的比較足，所以用了很多專業(yè)的詞匯：

jury 陪審團; penal 刑事的; arbitrary 武斷的;injustice 不公正; subjective approach主觀的方法; prerequisite 前提; self-defense 正當防衛(wèi); serial killer 連環(huán)殺手; exemption 豁免;liable 應(yīng)負法律責任的; convict 定罪; violation 違背。

從語法上來看，這篇essay 除使用了定語從句外，還有大量的分詞短語作定語，如：

Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment ifthey are convicted with a given crime, will reconsider committing this act inthe first place. (現(xiàn)在分詞)

A person killing in self-defense cannot be compared to a serial killer,moving from one victim to the next. (現(xiàn)在分詞)

according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by theviolator through committing the crime. (過去分詞)

被動語態(tài)也有展現(xiàn)：

a person being held liable of a crime under this law will be convicted topay a fine.

這兩個語法點都被囊括在了幾個寫作高分語法點中，所以同學在掌握好了以上六條建議之后應(yīng)該在這些寫作高分語法句型上花些精力和時間，以助自己的高分夢想早日實現(xiàn)。

最后強調(diào)下，寫作時論證一定要全面，尤其是對于雙觀點的題型。 更是要掌握好兩方論證的順序和篇幅分配，最后在總結(jié)時要注意是否和正文思路吻合。

總之，以上的7.5分雅思寫作范文在語法、詞匯上都錯的很不錯，唯一的小瑕疵就是有些詞匯過渡重復使用，而且整體的句式運用相當?shù)呢S富，這都是以上這篇7.5分雅思寫作范文的優(yōu)勢處。

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