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哈佛大學(xué)公認(rèn)的7篇優(yōu)秀文書,看完靈感爆棚

2023-10-20 16:03:18 來源:中國教育在線

哈佛大學(xué)公認(rèn)的7篇優(yōu)秀文書,看完靈感爆棚,很多同學(xué)對于這個(gè)問題有疑問和不解,那么下面就跟著中國教育在線的小編詳細(xì)了解一下吧。

哈佛大學(xué)公認(rèn)的7篇優(yōu)秀文書,看完靈感爆棚

近日,哈佛大學(xué)在??疶he Crimson 發(fā)布了7篇優(yōu)秀錄取文書,并給出了對每一篇文章的專業(yè)點(diǎn)評。對于正糾結(jié)在文書構(gòu)思和選題中的同學(xué)們來說,可以作為很好的借鑒和學(xué)習(xí)素材。 以下內(nèi)容源于哈佛官網(wǎng):10 Successful Harvard Application Essays | 2023 (thecrimson.com) 1.When Life Doesn't Gives You Lemons

At that moment, I scoured the cabinets and secured the glass pitcher only to realize we did not have lemons. To my disappointment, I realized my days of being an entrepreneur and generating revenue from my laymounada stand were over before they could even begin. I sat at the kitchen table, wallowing in disappointment. I wanted everyone to be able to taste my Tetas laymounada. Suddenly, I had an idea that would either prove to be inventive or a total failure. I would sell lemonade without the lemons. Revolutionary, right?

I ripped off a rectangular sheet of paper towel and jotted down my business plan. I listed the key elements of the business plan: a drawing of a cup, a rose, and the price- fifty scents- to correlate with the rose-themed business. I sat outside of my childhood home located in a cul-de-sac of five houses and sold my neighbors a rose drink- a combination of filtered water, packets of sugar, and a dash of rosewater. Granted, I only made about $10 from a combination of my parents and generous neighbors who did not drink the lemonade, but the experience allowed me to realize regardless of the obstacle, if you are passionate, you can persevere. Tetas laymounada was my introduction to entrepreneurship.

The entrepreneurial skills gained from my laymounada stand allowed me to establish AG Jewelry, co-founded with my sister when I was twelve. This business focused on representing our Lebanese heritage. Using supplies we found around our house and from our local craft store, we created a variety of pieces that featured traditional Middle Eastern coins, beads, and clay baked into the shape of Lebanon. My sister and I collaborated to create marketing tools to promote our new business. Before we knew it, AG Jewelry had earned a spot at my churchs annual Lebanese festival. After tirelessly marketing and selling our jewelry for three days straight, we had made over $900 in revenue, which we decided to donate to the church.

Entrepreneurship took a new form in high school when my sister and I founded our second partnership, The Model Brockton City Council. We saw a need to engage our peers in local government by designing a simulation of our city council. We had to collect signatures, present to many administrators, and market our new club. The initial goal to have more people try my lemonade resonated with me as I strived to have more people engage in their civic duties. Today, over twenty-five of my classmates frequently attend my meetings.

With my first business venture selling laymounada, I made $10; with AG Jewelry, $900; with the Model Brockton City Council, the revenue amounted to $0. Although there was not a financial gain, I attained experience as a negotiator, problem solver, creative thinker, and most importantly, I became persistent.

Twelve years have passed since that summer day with my laymounada, and I have yet to maintain a long-lasting business. My six-year-old self would have seen this lack of continuity as a colossal failure, but instead, it instilled an intense curiosity in me. Little did I know the experience would remain so vivid after all these years. It has continued to push me, compelling me to challenge myself both academically and entrepreneurially. As I grow older, my intrinsic drive to have a lemonade stand, regardless of whatever obstacles come my way, persists as a deep-seated love of business.

When life doesnt give you lemons, still make lemonade (or laymounada, as my Teta would say).

哈佛點(diǎn)評:

優(yōu)秀的大學(xué)文書都遵循一個(gè)簡單的公式:鉤子( Hook )+錨點(diǎn)(Anchor)+故事(Story)+成長(Growth)。

雖然具體細(xì)節(jié)可能有所不同,但如果你能包含這四個(gè)要素,你就會寫出一篇引人入勝的文章。

  • 鉤子:鉤子的作用就是吸引讀者。招生官每天都會閱讀數(shù)百篇論文,因此用有趣或不同的東西盡快吸引他們的注意力非常重要。

  • 錨點(diǎn):錨點(diǎn)是連接整篇文章并賦予其意義的想法或主題。好的主題是發(fā)人深省的,讓讀者讀后感到滿足。

  • 故事:講故事的黃金法則是展示,而不是講述。不要只是告訴招生人員你是一個(gè)多么出色的人,而是要嘗試通過你的故事向他們展示你的個(gè)性、性格和成就。

  • 成長:所有優(yōu)秀的大學(xué)文書都會清楚地展示你如何從你的經(jīng)歷中成長。一定要強(qiáng)調(diào)你從經(jīng)驗(yàn)中學(xué)到或獲得的東西。

這篇文書成功的原因就是抓住了四個(gè)關(guān)鍵要素--吸引力、錨點(diǎn)、故事和成長。

2.Abby's Essay

招生官點(diǎn)評:Abby使用了一種我稱之為過道文章的方法。

想象一下,推著購物車穿過雜貨店,選擇你最喜歡的食物,把它們放在購物車?yán)?。過道文章是指作者推著購物車穿過她的過去、現(xiàn)在和未來,沿途收集她的軼事、興趣和價(jià)值觀。把購物車想象成這篇文章的背景。Abby的購物車是巴諾書店的。堅(jiān)實(shí)的背景使文章在一些容易描繪的世界中扎根,使Abby能夠深入到她生活的不同方面,而不會使文章看起來分散。

Abby以明顯的核心價(jià)值觀結(jié)束了這篇文章:感恩。她并沒有戲劇性地聲稱她將改變或拯救世界。相反,她只是讓人們看到了自己的真實(shí)身份:一個(gè)充滿好奇心、經(jīng)常光顧書店的女孩一一一個(gè)受到過去啟發(fā)并沖進(jìn)未來的桃花心木大門的女孩。

3.Samantha C.

讀完第一句話后,我想讀更多。到了第三句話的時(shí)候,我已經(jīng)迫不及待地想要見到這個(gè)學(xué)生了!

這篇文章的成功是因?yàn)槲覀儾粌H深入了解了他們與生俱來的好奇心和想象力,而且我們了解了他們的個(gè)人成長。我們看到學(xué)生變得更加自信,并在更大的社區(qū)中找到了自己的位置。流行文化和歷史典故是一種很好的接觸,使寫作變得人性化,同時(shí)使其具有很強(qiáng)的可讀性。但最重要的是,有一條成長的敘事線索。

學(xué)生們偶爾會取得一些成就,這些成就是成長的里程碑,但這并不像是一份簡歷或一份人為的清單當(dāng)我們了解他們的創(chuàng)作過程以及故事在他們生活中的重要性時(shí),這一切最終都會匯集在一起。

好奇、有創(chuàng)造力、關(guān)心他人以及個(gè)人成長感。許多偉大的主題和個(gè)人特質(zhì)讓讀者不僅喜歡這個(gè)學(xué)生,而且想認(rèn)識他們。

4.Simar B.

從文章開頭,Simar就把我們帶入了一個(gè)有意義的成長敘事,盡管如此獨(dú)特,但卻普遍可以理解。所選的題目是理想的,因?yàn)樗粌H發(fā)人深省,而且具有啟發(fā)性;雖然不是所有的讀者都必須面對屬于錫克教的社會和文化責(zé)任和影響,但Simar以強(qiáng)烈而感人的清晰度將這種斗爭揭示出來。

通過他們的故事,他們巧妙地將自己文化和宗教的獨(dú)特挑戰(zhàn)融入到重新找回自己身份和成為真正的自己的強(qiáng)大體驗(yàn)中。在這樣做的過程中,學(xué)生巧妙地展示了他們有自我理解、內(nèi)在力量和成長的能力,這些都是打破和重塑自出生以來定義我們的限制所必需的。Simar用一種堅(jiān)定的、清晰的聲音完成了這一切,積極抵制用極端的詞匯選擇或夸張的語氣夸大他們的斗爭的常見誘惑,這些誘惑可能會給招生讀者留下不好的印象。相反,這本書的語氣仍然非常真實(shí),在面對挫折和逆境時(shí)總是表現(xiàn)得誠實(shí)和實(shí)事求是,并提供了幾個(gè)現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中的例子。

文章是很好的例子,說明個(gè)人陳述不需要普遍以幸福的結(jié)局為特色,也不需要以輕松愉快和感激的中心語氣來展示成長。Simar出色地以沉思、體貼和賦權(quán)的方式處理了我們通常認(rèn)為的沉重話題。

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