被哈佛大學(xué)錄取的文書長什么樣
2023-10-20 15:26:15 來源：中國教育在線
被哈佛大學(xué)錄取的文書長什么樣，相信這個(gè)問題是許多正在準(zhǔn)備留學(xué)的同學(xué)關(guān)心的一個(gè)問題，那么下面小編就來和大家說一說，感興趣的您趕緊往下了解吧。
以下是文書的部分內(nèi)容展示：
In hazy stillness, a sudden flurry of colored skirtswhispers of“Merde!” Sternly, my fingers smoothback my hair, although they know no loose strands willbe found. My skin absorbs heat from stage lights aboveif only that heat would seep into my brain, denaturesome proteins, and deactivate the neurons stressingme out. A warm hand, accompanied by an evenwarmer smile, interrupts my frenzied solitude. I glanceup.My lovely teacher nods, coaxing my frozen lips intoa thawed smile. A complex figure, filled in with doubtyet finished with shades of confidence: My body takesits place and waits.
One, two, three, four; two, two, three, four. On stage,the lights and music wash over me. Never having had atrue ballet solo before, my lungs are one breath awayfrom hyperventilating. Trying to achieve a Zen-likestate, I imagine a field of daisies, yet my palmscontinue sweating disobediently.It’ s not that I’ venever been on stage alone before; I’ ve had plenty ofpiano recitals and competitions. Yet, while bothperformances consume my mind and soul, balletdemands complete commitment of my body.
招生官點(diǎn)評(píng)：通過她富有創(chuàng)造性的散文描述成功地喚起了讀者的真實(shí)情感，生動(dòng)形象的畫面、發(fā)自內(nèi)心的感受和心理活動(dòng)創(chuàng)造了一篇優(yōu)秀的文章。將Lisa的經(jīng)歷比作一只被困在封閉籠子里的鳥，籠子就是我們?cè)谏钪兴媾R的恐懼的隱喻。Lisa的第一部芭蕾舞獨(dú)舞被出色地詮釋為她的“掙脫”，在那一刻，她擺脫了恐懼(打開了她的籠子)，并通過深刻的自我反省，選擇了接受未來的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)(只向前飛)。
在前面的內(nèi)容中，Lisa她豐富的語言立即吸引了我們，因?yàn)樗枥L了自己因壓力、對(duì)失敗和公眾輿論的恐懼而無法動(dòng)彈，讓人同情并想了解更多。同時(shí)她的幽默感完美呈現(xiàn)：想要讓她的大腦神經(jīng)元失活并提醒自己不要先摔倒，以免被她的母親責(zé)罵。Lisa將她可愛的老師作為她的舒適區(qū)和支持者，這是許多人可以分享的主題。她的焦慮是有相關(guān)的，她用它們來解釋她的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)規(guī)避行為。
Lean extra in this pirouette; it s more aesthetic. But isit always better to be safe than sorry? Glancing towardthe wings, I see my teacher’ s wild gesticulations:Stretch your arms out, she seems to mime, More! Agenuine smile replaces one of forced enthusiasm;alone on the stage, this is my chance to shine. I breathein the movements, forget each individual step. Morethan just imagining, but finally experiencing thejubilation of the music, I allow my splits to stretchacross the stage and my steps to extend longer andlonger, until I’ m no longer safe and my heart isracing. Exhilarated and scared in the best way, I throwmyself into my jumps. I no longer need to imaginescenes to get in the mood; the emotions are twirlingand leaping within me.
在第4-5段中：Lisa的獨(dú)奏被生動(dòng)地描述為她跳舞中實(shí)現(xiàn)轉(zhuǎn)變的決定性時(shí)刻一一恐懼變成了激情和興奮。此刻，她微笑著擺脫恐懼。這里提出了一個(gè)尖銳的問題“但是安全總比后悔好嗎?” 通過反省，LIisa表達(dá)了她追求冒險(xiǎn)的愿望，這將提升她的文章價(jià)值觀，并且承認(rèn)并不總是能成功。
Lisa以她將在大學(xué)從事的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)角色和活動(dòng)的具體例子作為結(jié)尾，招生人員對(duì)渴望走出舒適區(qū)并在大學(xué)開始新的冒險(xiǎn)的學(xué)生通常會(huì)持正面看法，這也讓這篇文章更有說服力。這篇文章獨(dú)特的敘事形式寫得非常出色，給人一種充滿活力、有趣、深刻的體驗(yàn)。Lisa的價(jià)值觀貫穿整篇文章:創(chuàng)造力、決心、克服障礙、自我反省、在風(fēng)險(xiǎn)中成長，還有激情!我們激勵(lì)學(xué)生擺脫這種消極情緒，繼續(xù)前進(jìn)并取得更大的成就!
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